Still in Debt, And Why There’s Still Hope for My Finances

My goals have shifted this week. Last week my goal was to become a millionaire and live without a financial care in the world, throwing money at the church and charity, generally philanthropping around. This week my goal is to buy enough groceries for the whole month with around 50 smackers.

I have made some promises to myself and I am prepared to do anything to keep those promises. The first of which is to never allow my son or children experience lack because they are unmotivated, insecure or lazy. I am going out on a limb here and telling you that these are my demons, always have been, and I am exercising them as we speak. It is not about the money. It is not about making millions and going on vacation for 6 months out of the year.

Why Making Money is Important

Simply put, it is like Charles Spurgeon once said, “Why should not only let our troubles confirm our dedication to God, but our prosperity should do the same.” If I had a million dollars, I would hope that it is a simple and glaring reflection of a character that shows strength.


I don’t mean security like a baby with a security blanket, I mean having enough to survive, enough to get through major setbacks (job loss, medical emergency, losing assets). The unforeseens are what wound a financial plan deeply, and I want to always be a step ahead of a natural disaster or major human error.


Insecurity plays a huge role in today’s attitude. It is a sad mass attitude that plagues our generation. The upstart millionaires are the exception to the rule, even with the crazy prediction of a 40% increase in the number of U.S. millionaires by the time we get to the year 2019. That still leaves 300 million people subjected to my assessment of people’s love of apathy and procrastination due to a fear of failure. I am fully aware that these statements are neither politically correct or good arguments for debate. I am simply saying that I don’t want to be in that category in 2019. I would rather teach my son by example to do, go and be in spite of fear.


Along with slaying fear, I want to leave a legacy of hard work and quality time invested in the development of my son’s character and spiritual growth. By no means will I leave my son to fend for himself while I try to make a buck. The diligence I speak of will bleed into every aspect of my life: my marriage, my children and my finances. In that order.


Another promise I’ve made to myself is not to go nuts buying yachts with fancy new income. Instead, I want to live waaaay under my income level, save enough to retire, help family and give the rest away. I can’t take it with me, and my children will be raised to understand the value of money: not something to accumulate and hoard, rather a tool to wield so that they can change their world.

I have my goals, and the timing is not going as planned with my husband’s business. We are now officially about 3 to 4 weeks from hitting near-poverty-line problems. Namely paying bills and having enough to feed the family. The optimism in my title comes from one source: my faith.

If God cares how the lilies are dressed, won’t he dress us too? I can wait till next month to tell you all about how God came through or how He is working in our lives through this struggle.

My heart is pretty heavy with the burden of my debt. Lots of debt, and no sign of a light at the end of this here tunnel.

I feel the need to warn you off one tiny-but-deadly trap: credit cards. If you have one make sure you’re using it properly: 1) Get one with the lowest APR. 2) Get one with tons of rewards. 3) Pay that sucker off every month.¬†Any other way you use a credit card is pure idiocy. I should know, I was the idiot with a credit card. And now I’m the idiot with major credit score issues.

The Hope

My glimmer of hope is that I actually CARE about the debt. Lots of people waltz through life in debt and without a care, but admitting I was sick was the first step to recovery. I’m smart enough now to know what needs to be done. More than ever I’m determined to pay off my debt and start again.

Today’s post is not a how-to, it is a what-to. What to do in times of major financial struggle, what to think, what to say. Keep working, keep believing it can be done, and tell yourself that you are capable, if only for the sole reason that God gave you a brain.

So I’m going to push on, keep going and finish what I’ve started. My business is my family’s future and I plan to give everything I’ve got to get there. Forgive the cliche, but if I can do it any monkey can do it. Watch this unfold with me!



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *